Everything Isn’t Figureoutable…

…on your own.

Have you ever had one of those nights where sleep seems like a distant memory? You know, the kind where you’re lying in bed, tossing and turning, your mind doing somersaults? Yeah, I was there. And not just for one night—this was my life for weeks, maybe months. It felt like everything was unraveling at once: financial debt piling up like a mountain I couldn’t climb, a devastating loss in the family, the stress of planning a wedding with no idea how to pay for it, and to top it all off, losing my apartment twice. Twice. Honestly, it felt like the universe was out to get me, and I was running out of fight.

I was desperate. I was in despair. I was in full-on “figure it out” mode, but let me tell you, that mode was more like a downward spiral. Complaints became my default, and anger was my constant companion. My thoughts were spiraling out of control, pushing me toward actions that were completely out of character. I didn’t recognize myself anymore.

But in the middle of all that chaos, when my mind was screaming at me to give up, something incredible happened. The Spirit laid a verse on my heart: Proverbs 3:5.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart.”

Trust. What does that even mean? I mean, it’s easy to say, “I trust you,” but do we really get it? To trust means to give, to keep, and to hold. To hand over something precious—like your heart—and believe that the one you’re giving it to will take care of it. But not just a piece of your heart, not just the part that’s comfortable or easy. No, God wants all of it. Every last bit.

Why all and not some? That’s where the real challenge lies. It’s not about half-hearted trust, where we give God the parts we’re okay with letting go but cling to the rest. No, He wants us to go all in. In Mark 7, there’s this story where Jesus and His disciples are hanging out after some seriously intense ministry. They’ve fed 5,000 people, healed the sick, and they’re finally getting a moment to chill. Then, the Pharisees roll up, all upset because the disciples didn’t wash their hands before eating. The Mosaic Law had all these rules about cleanliness, but Jesus wasn’t having it. He called them out, saying they were hypocrites—honoring God with their lips but not with their hearts.

Jesus wasn’t just talking about washing hands. He was getting at something deeper. Our hearts. What comes out of our hearts is what defines us—our thoughts, our actions, our trust. And if our hearts are filled with doubt, anger, or fear, how can we fully trust God?

So there I was, my heart in pieces, holding on to my pain, my worries, and my spiraling thoughts. But God was saying, “Give it to me. I’ll take care of it.” It was a call to stop relying on everyone else, on myself, and to just trust. Really trust. It’s the kind of love that’s pure and unconditional—the kind of love that says, “Cast your cares on me because I care for you.”

“And do not lean on your own understanding.”

Leaning. It’s something we all do, right? We lean on our own understanding because it’s what we know. We’ve been hurt, disappointed, let down by others, so we figure we’ll just rely on ourselves. But here’s the kicker—we fail ourselves too. Our own understanding is so often blurred by pain and trauma. It’s like trying to see through a fog. We think we know what’s best, but we’re just stumbling around, making decisions based on what we can see, not on what God is doing behind the scenes.

Remember Paul? The greatest apostle who was blinded for three days? Sometimes we need to get blind to our own understanding so we can start walking by faith. It’s scary, I won’t lie. But in that darkness, God’s light shines the brightest.

“In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.”

Ways. What are they, really? The Bible says ways are our behaviors, the things we do that flow out of our hearts. If our hearts are filled with negativity, our ways—our actions—reflect that. And let me tell you, my ways during that time were not pretty. I was hiding from God, hiding my struggles, my uncertainty, my shame. But God doesn’t want us to hide. He wants us to bring it all to Him, to acknowledge Him in every part of our lives.

When we do that—when we say, “God, here’s my heart, here are my behaviors, change me”—He does something amazing. He makes our paths straight. It doesn’t mean the journey won’t be hard. Correction can be painful, and sometimes it feels like you’re stuck in that pain forever. But it’s correction, not condemnation. There’s no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

So, here I am, still navigating this wild ride called life, but with a heart that’s learning to trust God more and more. It’s not perfect, and I still have those nights where sleep feels elusive, but now I know where to turn. I’m holding on to that verse like a lifeline, trusting that God’s got my heart, and He’s making my path straight.

And you know what? He can do the same for you. Trust Him with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, and acknowledge Him in all your ways. He will make your path straight—one step at a time.